Revenge Never tasted so sweet
by Svart-Natt
Summary: 'You're like an angel' She wishes she was. His comment is like someone's just twisted the knife in her back. Because she's been screwed over. That's how she sees it. She's not meant to be here. But somehow she is. She's tried to end it. But the universe always seems to stop her from e's not an angel. She's dancing with the devil. AU L/P drabble


The rain.

The sound of the windscreen wipers squeaking.

The headlights flickering in the trees.

Everything is muffled and then a high pitched hum is sounding.

She blinks. Blinks. Blinks.

And then it's not a hum. It's screaming. Petrified screeching.

'Mummmmma. Mummmmy!'

•••

She doesn't know him. Not in person. Only on paper.

She doesn't know what kind of girl he'd go for. Doesn't know his type.

She needn't have worried because the way she's dressed tonight, she's everyone's type. She's just not herself.

She doesn't wear form fitting dresses like this. She prefers to leave a little more to the imagination. But it's working in her favour and that's the whole point.

She notices him half way through the speeches, or he notices her. He lets his brother do the talking while his eyes make a circuit of the filled function room. She can't look at his brother. Won't.

She smiles coyly at him and then she's looking away.

He doesn't see the panicky inhale she takes. Doesn't see the look of distress. Doesn't see her trembling hand hastily bring her drink to her lips.

She needs some dutch courage. Not some. A lot.

She's surprised that he actually seeks her out. Because she's never been good at this. She's not good at this when she's her. When it's real. She's never been much of a flirt.

'I'm sorry, I...hello' He's flustered and it shows. She smiles.

This is the first time she's seeing him so close. Seeing him in person and not on a computer screen. He's more handsome in person. His eyes bluer, his jaw chiseled with just the right amount of scruff.

'Hi' She replies.

'I saw you when my brother was saying thank you...I, I just, I had to come over. I've...I've not seen you before'

'I'm new to the area'

'Yeah? This is kind of a private event' He squints but he's smiling.

'Yeah' She shifts her weight. 'I er...I'm actually staying here at the hotel, until I find a place and well...I dunno...I might have gatecrashed' She doesn't know what reaction she's going to get. She's instantly wondering if she should've used one of her other rehearsed options. 'I'm sorry-'

'No' He laughs. 'No, don't be. Although if you're into gatecrashing parties this wouldn't be up there on my list of parties to crash' He glances round the room. 'It's more of a business affair'

'Yes, I figured that out a few drinks ago'

'Ah, the free bar is a draw' He smirks. 'Let me get you another' He signals to the man behind the bar. 'What would you like?'

'Er, scotch'

His brow shoots up and he looks at her incredulously. 'Scotch' He repeats.

'Uhuh' She bobs her head and immediately thinks she should've opted for a more girly option but she needs the good stuff. 'Is that not ok?'

'Oh, it's more than ok. I think I'll join you. It's just not a typical girly drink'

'Maybe I'm not your typical girl'

'Mm. I'm beginning to think that'

'Is that a problem?'

'Quite the contrary' He answers honestly and requests their desired drinks to the bartender.

'So, you said the man that was talking is your brother, does that mean you're something to do with Scott & Scott?'

'I may be the second Scott in Scott & Scott' He reveals. 'Sorry, I missed out the introduction. I'm Lucas'

'Peyton'

'Peyton' He repeats. The bar tender pushes their drinks before them and Lucas nods in thanks.

'Thank you' Peyton wastes no time in taking a sip and he watches her in awe. She can feel her cheeks beginning to burn. She's wondering if he can see through this charade because her heart is palpitating in her chest and her hands are sweating. 'So am I totally wrong in thinking your business is a car thing'

He chortles again because there's several give aways. The main being in the logo that's plastered over hovering balloons together with the slide show playing on a loop on the far wall 'Whatever gave you that idea?'

'Oh I don't know, intuition' Her lashes flutter and he laughs.

'We sell cars'

'Not any cars, they look like rather swish cars'

'Swish' He echos in amusement. 'Well I guess they are kind of swish, also known as vintage classics. My uncle started the company just as a workshop and it grew. We took over a couple of years ago. So Peyton..' He's eager to steer the conversation onto her. 'Tell me, what brings you to Tree Hill?'

You. She doesn't say that though, she's ready with her prepared answers. 'I needed a change. I've been living in the city for several years and just wanted to get away from that pace of life. You know?'

'Well if you were looking for slower, Tree Hill is definitely that...do you know anyone?'

'No. I use to live here growing up. We moved after my Mother died' She gives him a truth. 'I've not been back since' A lie. 'I just felt like I'd come back to the place where I was the happiest I've ever been, even if I was nine' A lie. 'Crazy huh?'

'Brave' He replies and she almost nods her head in agreement because she'll admit she's that. She's not one to complement herself but bravery is something she definitely doesn't lack. She wouldn't be stood here right now otherwise. 'Maybe I could show you around, if you'd like?'

A curl falls over her face as she ducks her head. 'That, that would be amazing actually. If it's not trouble though'

'It would definitely be no trouble at all'

2 more drinks later and they've bypassed the tour of the town he's promised and she's giving him a tour of her room.

He pushes her against the wall and her instinct is to flee. But the alcohol in her system keeps her strong. Keeps her brave. She's surrendering to this. Come morning she'll feel like a dirty, cheating slut. She's prepared for that. But this is necessary.

She's not been touched like this in seven months. She's missed being touched like this. For a moment she closes her eyes and pretends she's back there, back at that time when everything had been perfect. Pretends she's with someone else but then he goes and speaks.

'You're gorgeous' He husks. 'I saw you the moment you walked into that room tonight. I wasn't able to concentrate on anything but you' His grabby hands press her against him.

She's repulsed by her body's reaction. Repulsed by how his words make her squeeze her legs together.

His hastiness dwindles. His touches slow. Become gentle and attentive. And she wants his desperation back. Wants rough and quick over the slow dance he's now playing.

He backs up away from her suddenly and drops onto the end of the made bed.

'Come here'

She swallows and slowly ventures over to him. It's not meant to be seductive, it's really not but he groans and as soon as she's within reach his hands smooth over the porcelain skin of her legs.

She'd shaved them this morning. She'd made herself completely manicured and ready for this. She'd not really believed she'd be able to get him to this point. She'd not believed he'd so much as look at her but she'd prepped herself just the same and had taken comfort in the thought that there was no possibility of it going this far. She's not prepped mentally. No amount of time would be enough for that.

His hand is at her ankle and she gets the hint. Her palm resting on his shoulder as she lifts her foot slightly so he can slip her heel off. She steps out of the remaining shoe and she's at her usual height. She knows she's running out of time if she wants to get out of this. He doesn't see the trepidation dancing in her eyes. His stare is on his hands as they navigate up her flat stomach.

She gasps when his fingers locate the zip at her side and jerk it down.

She can suddenly feel like she can breathe as the suffocating material loosens.

He tugs until the straps slip from her shoulders and the fabric puddles at her waist and then he's looking up at her. 'Hey, you okay?' Apparently her mask has faltered because concern is flowering in his eyes and she doesn't want his concern.

She forces her lips to smile. 'Uhuh. Are you?'

'I'm more than okay' He kisses her stomach and the sensation is a welcome distraction from the conflicting argument going on in her head. 'What's this?' His exploring hands have found the scar above her belly button.

'Ruptured spleen' Truth.

His brow furrows. 'What happened?'

'I fell off a horse' Lie.

'Did you have to have it removed?'

'Uhuh'

'That's, isn't that dangerous to your immune system?'

'Yeah. I get to have loads of shots and antibiotics now. But I would've died otherwise'

'God. That, that sounds terrifying' His breath hits the white mark.

'Mm. Maybe not the best foreplay conversation' She's eager to get him back on track and avoid pursuing this line of enquiry.

'Are you okay now?'

'Uhuh' Lie. She's not been okay since that day but he meant physically and she's as well as she's ever going to be in that sense. She covers his hands and manoeuvres them to her sides, urging him to finish stripping her. He takes the hint, his lips leaving butterfly kisses over her war wound as he helps shimmy the fabric over her hips. Gentle kisses she doesn't want. He stops when the dress drops the rest of the way to the floor, the red of her panties winning his attention.

'Fuck. Look at you' He scrapes his hand through his hair and swallows thickly and she momentarily thinks he looks kind of cute and not like the man he is at all. More like a little boy whose Christmases have all come at once. Only he's not cute. She reminds herself of that. He's the enemy.

'You're like a fucking angel'

She wishes she was. And his comment is like someone's just twisted the knife in her back. Because she's been screwed over. That's how she sees it. She's not meant to be here. But somehow she is. She's tried to end it. But the universe always seems to stop her from leaving.

She's not an angel. She's dancing with the devil.

'Come here'

His fingers are running this show. They pull her down onto him, her legs scissoring as she settles on his thighs, her shuddering breath touching his lips.

He's still completely clothed and she's semi aware that just a few hours ago this, her sitting in his lap like this would have had her stomach in knots and mortification bubbling in the back of her throat. But the scotch she's been drinking has done the trick. She's got that warm, tipsy feeling. Okay, more than tipsy. Enough for her to get through this.

He's hard and lust is slowly coiling around her traitorous body. She wants to forget and he can give her that. He can. Whether she likes that or not is irrelevant.

It goes unnoticed that her hands make no effort in unbuttoning his shirt, she won't assist him. As depraved as it is she wants to feel like this is a one way street. Wants to feel like she's a victim in this lewd coupling...she is, she thinks bitterly. She's only here, only giving herself to this man for one reason only...

A part of her wants his hands to creep up around her neck. Wants him to drain her of life. Because he already has in a sense. Him and his repulsive brother.

She wants him to want her more than he's ever wanted anything. Wants to be the girl of his dreams. Wants to see the hurt and despair culminate in his stare when she tears his world apart.

He's rid himself of his shirt now and eagerly flips them so she's beneath him, his weight pressing her down into the mattress.

He's got that look in his eyes. That feral look that says he's going to make her his. She's confused by how aroused she is..she assumes it's because for the first time in months she feels alive. Alive in the knowledge that revenge is within her grasp. She wants to tell him she's not his. Wants to tell him she'll never be his. But she stops herself. Forces herself to smile a seductive smile that isn't her.

'Fuck I've not got-'

'Doesn't matter' She shakes her head, knowing what he's suddenly fretting about. 'I'm on the pill' The other little issue of not knowing this man nor whether he's clean or not is irrelevant. She doesn't care.

'Are you sure? I mean, I'm safe but-'

'I trust you' She wonders if it sounds as insincere to him as it does to her. He's clearly too consumed by lust because his mouth is soon back on hers, his tongue dipping into her mouth as his fingers slip into her underwear.

It's different. He's different to what she knows. Of course it's different. She both wants different and yet craves the touch of the man that's been permitted to touch her like this since she vowed to be his forever.

But none of that matters now. Because he's gone and she's alone.

She arches her back, wills him to take her away from those god awful thoughts that consume her day in day out.

And he does. She'd not anticipated him being able to take her to there. But now that her body is thrumming with desire she begs him not to stop. Begs him to make it all go away.

It's just for a little while but for a blissful moment he saves her from the darkness.

She's not widowed. She's not a mother that had to bury her young daughter. She's not lost everything.

But when morning comes and his hand is at her waist and his breath is in her hair she's repulsed with herself.

But she won't let it show. She can't let it show. Because revenge is sweet but it's biding your time, it's building trust, it's being the perfect puppet master and she'll do whatever, be whatever she has to to avenge Riley and Julian Baker.

•••

She stays at his place over the next week, just until she finds somewhere more permanent but somewhere more permanent quickly becomes his place.

She's surprised at how easy it is, how good she apparently is at being deceitful and manipulative. Two attributes she's never endeavoured to be. Two attributes that go against everything that makes her her.

His work becomes her place of work too.

She's suddenly a part of his life. A huge part.

He introduces her to his family.

They all love her.

She's sweet and funny and beautiful.

None of them know that she's a walking lie. She's a ticking time bomb.

Rage and grief are a tumultuous combination.

She's done her time practicing masking her feelings though. It's an art.

The odd glass of wine helps. Running. Lucas pushing her onto a table and hands delving under her skirt. That helps a whole lot too but she won't admit that last one. Doesn't care to admit that she's becoming addicted to the places he can take her. Because this wasn't meant to be about that. Pleasure isn't meant to be part of the agenda. She's using him. That's all this is. She won't become attached.

She's not stupid. She knows it's not real. Knows her body is kidding her into thinking this is more than what it is. Knows that sex confuses things, fools you into thinking you're feeling things you're not. And she's not. She can't. Won't. Never again. Especially not with him. He doesn't even know her.

She hates him. Hates all of them.

She closes her eyes.

Remembers her. Remembers that little smile. Dimples. Brown eyes. Cherub cheeks.

Remembers him. His loving gaze. His husked I love you's.

It's those little memories that she clings to, that feeds her mission.

She opens her eyes. She's in his office, perched before his computer, her hesitance that's had her finger hovering is gone now. She clicks the button.

She watches as the page reloads and the account balance changes to $0.00.

•••

'It's gone'

'What's gone?'

'The business account. It's been drained. There...there's nothing'

She doesn't say anything. She's waiting for his eyes to bore into her. To accuse her. He doesn't.

'I don't understand. Only me and Nate have access to those details...the bank thinks we must've been hacked'

She swallows. 'What're you going to do?'

'I...I dunno. I mean...the business, of course it's important to me but I, I've got savings. My house and my life aren't dependent on it' She knows. She'd been strangely relieved to learn it because she'd begun to feel guilt. 'Nate has though' She knows. 'The house, school fees...he's got so many fucking outgoings. I told him buying that house was ridiculous...fuck. Lets hope it's resolved'

'What will happen if it's not?'

'He'll have to sell everything..the business will have to go into liquidation'

She's a little stunned because most people would be going bag shit crazy at this point.

'You're so...calm' She doesn't know if she's relieved or disappointed.

He shrugs. 'I'm a nervous wreck' He corrects with a snort. 'But I can't do anything about it...at least I've got you' He walks toward her. 'At least I found you. I could have nothing to my name and somehow I...I think it would be ok if I have you'

His lips find hers. And she kisses him. Hard. An apology. Because she's sorry, she is. He's collateral damage, she's realised that over recent months. She's more sorry every day because Lucas Scott is good. He's fundamentally good. She can't deny it. She wanted him to not be. Wanted him to be the person she'd decided he was in her head but he's not and it's making it al the harder to keep her eye on the prize.

•••

He'd been right. He is ok despite the uncertain future of his business. His brother on the other hand isn't as ok. She watches everything crumble. Revels in his dire affairs.

They're at a party one evening and she becomes confused because pretending with Lucas is becoming hard. The pretend and the real are merging and it's a struggle to distinguish between the two.

But then the jealousy rages through her. Because she's here. In _his_ house that has to be sold because of what she's done and initially that had made her warm and fuzzy; satisfaction unfurling in her limbs. Her desire for destruction is merely justice for everything she's lost.

She's been in his presence a lot. She's been strangely ok, has kept it together but tonight, the satisfaction she'd expected to be basking in is quick to diminish. His children's feet pitter patter on the floor. Their laughter. And it's not fair. She wants this back.

It's too much. She grabs Lucas's hand and drags him to the nearest bathroom because he's the only one that can make it stop.

He laughs at her and tells her she's jealous. He's not wrong. She is. Just not because he was just talking to some other girl. She says she's nothing of the sort. She tells him she's just bored because his friends are boring and she's nothing like them. She tells him she's not sure what the hell she's doing here because these aren't the people she hangs around with...Lie. It had been. These are the kind of people she'd once been surrounded with. Friends. Family people. Children orientated people. But she's not that now. She wants night clubs. Wants recklessness and dangerous behaviour. And she's on the brink of spurting out the truth.

He becomes irritated though because this is his life and he wants her to like his friends and family and she's never given him any indication that she doesn't before now. He tells her he'll gladly make her night a little more exciting. He takes her from behind and fucks her hard and she comes hard and then he's kissing her neck so sweetly and telling her he's sorry but she's not. She leans back into him and he says they can go right now. That he'll do anything she wants. Go wherever she wants. Because he kind of loves her.

She freezes then because this isn't meant to be love. Not with her panties round her ankles in his brother's guest bathroom.

She feels sick but she blinks away her tears and tells him she loves him too.

•••

She doesn't plan to do it that specific day but it's only fitting that it's his birthday and he's surrounded by his loving family.

She waits until the children are put to bed because she's not that heartless.

Everything is in boxes for their big move. Or not big move. They're having to downsize drastically.

His wife has gone to get more wine. Lucas has gone to the bathroom. They're completely alone.

Despite everything, today he seems so happy, why shouldn't he be? He still has his family and he's grateful for that. His happiness is intolerable. Maybe it's the catalyst, maybe it's why she can't stay quiet for a moment more.

'How do you do it Nathan?'

'Do what?' He smiles, his brow kinked in question. She's standing in front of the mantelpiece, her green eyes fixated on the family photographs. Frames that she wants to send flying to the floor.

'Sleep at night' She turns and regards him and his confused smile falters. 'I don't' She enlightens him. 'You know what I see when I close my eyes?' She doesn't wait for him to reply. 'I see him, his face covered in blood and I just want his lips to move but they don't' She whispers.

'Peyton what're you talking about?' He rises from his spot on the sofa, an unease making his throat tight.

'And then I hear her. I hear her screaming for me and then she just, she stops. And I see them carrying her away and her bare little arm is swinging and I want to tell them to wrap her in a blanket and keep her warm but then I can't see her anymore' Her eyes are glassy. 'I can't see her anymore because she's fucking dead'

He goes to approach her and it's in those few seconds that her hand is suddenly springing behind her and he startles as a gun is revealed and haphazardly pointed at him.

'Stay there' She doesn't want him near her. Doesn't want his hands consoling her.

'Woah. Peyton what the hell?!...what, what're you doing?'

'You took everything from me...everything' She hisses.

'I don't know what you're talking about. Just, just put that down and lets talk about it'

'We are talking' She refutes. 'You still don't know who I am do you?' She laughs hoarsely. It's not amusement. Everything but. 'Julian and Riley Baker...I know you know who they are'

He swallows. His mouth opens.

'Peyton! What're you doing! Where did you get that?!' Lucas's voice interrupts their private conversation.

She doesn't feel the satisfaction she'd promised herself she would when she looks into Lucas's panicked face.

'Give it to me' He edges toward her.

She's lingered too long. She's gotten sucked into those blue eyes that are suddenly talking to her without saying a single word. He's pleading her to hand over the weapon. Pleading her to explain why she's threatening his brother's life.

'Baby-'

'I'm not your baby' A sob passes her quivering lip as she swivels the barrel of the gun to aim at him instead.

'Okay- okay' Lucas holds both his hands up in surrender. 'I'm sorry I- I don't understand- help me understand'

His brother doesn't need an explanation though. It's all clicked. He understands completely. Decides he shouldn't hang around because he knows how this ends.

He runs. She shoots.

It all happens so quickly.

Scuffling. Haley's muffled screeches of terror.

She's missed and Lucas shouts at Nathan to get the hell out as he lurches himself on her to hinder her second aim.

He's stronger than her. He soon has her pinned down and she can feel a wetness creeping down her face, the blood trailing a streak through her blonde locks and down her forehead where he's just unintentionally slammed her head into the wall in his desperation to stop her from harming anyone.

He pants.

This is the complete opposite to any other time he's held her like this.

This isn't fuelled by lust.

Rage, confusion and sorrow has his fingers squeezing round her upper arms.

'You need to start speaking'

She's still seeing stars. 'It's not what you think' She eventually musters.

He's got the gun off of her now and she whimpers, cowering into the wall as he presses it to her temple. 'Lucas wait!'

'Speak' He has zero intention of hurting her. He'd never mean to hurt her. But her actions have him pointing the weapon she'd bought into this house at her. She's threatened his family, a sin that would push any person into squeezing the trigger. Game over.

'It's you isn't it?! You've emptied the business account. You've taken everything' The business he's been desperately trying to save. It's all becoming clear. It's her. All of it's her.

'I...my husband and child' She blurts.

Eighteen months. Eighteen months of lying and she surrenders it just like that.

Maybe it's the gun at her head. A sudden desire to live that's bewildering to her because she'd been ready to welcome death. Maybe it's his distress.

He's not just angry. The rage in his voice is fuelled by devastation more than anything because he'd let himself fall for her and he'd fallen hard but she's not who he thought; Husband and child. She's married.

'What?'

'Your brother' Her voice teeters. 'He, he crashed into the car. He...you... you gave him an alibi'

His eyes widen.

His bruising hold is gone in all of a second.

She gingerly turns around. Watches realisation wash over his features. He drops the gun in a heartbeat.

'They...they were m-my e-everything' She slips down the wall. 'We were just fucking visiting my Dad in Charlotte! I wanted to come here- I wanted to visit my childhood home! It was my fault we were even fucking here!'

He closes his eyes tight.

 _'Nathan?'_

 _'I need you to do something for me'_

 _'What?' He squints at his brother._

 _'I...it was an accident. I was...I've been drinking man...it...I...it really was an accident'_

 _Lucas frowns. 'What was?'_

 _'The car came outta nowhere I...just...'_

 _'What have you done?'_

 _'I...I need you to say I've been with you all night. Okay? I'll report my car stolen in the morning and-'_

 _'Tell me what you did Nathan!'_

 _'They're dead. I killed them! I didn't mean to though I swear Luke! You've got to help me. Hales and the kids, they need me!'_

Her sobbed words have his eyes snapping open. 'I know it was him! The p-police said it- they said his c-car was st-stolen. But I s-saw him. I saw him!'

'What do you mean you saw him?'

She looks at him and her sadness morphs into outrage. 'I mean I fucking saw him!'

'You were there? He said only...only a child and man were in the car...he said they were both dead'

'Do I look dead to you?' She barks. 'Do you know what that was like for me?! My husband died on impact but I..I could hear my baby screaming for me and I could't move! She might still be here! If he'd fucking stopped she might still be here right now. She died in the back seat whilst I was right there unable to get to her. All I could fucking do was tell her that I loved her. That it was going to be ok. That help would come. And they did. They did come an hour and a half later and it was too late' She's screaming now.

His legs wobble and his hand grapples at the bookshelf to steady himself. His temple is aching. 'You were in the car?...Peyton I...I swear I didn't know he...he said it was a man and a child, he said he checked, he said they were both dead'

'Checked?! He didn't even stop!' She growls.

He feels sick. He drops down to the floor beside her.

Neither of them speak.

She momentarily thinks she should be hearing sirens by now, surely Haley has called the police.

'It was all...it wasn't real...you were just getting close to me to...' He stares at her. 'I love you...I love you'

'No you don't' She shakes her head. 'You don't even know me' She whispers.

'I do' He grasps her hands. 'I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I didn't know. I wasn't even fucking there Peyton. If I'd been there I would've done everything right. I would've called it in but it...he rocked up at my house...he said nothing could be done to help them.. I should've told the truth' He nods. 'But he, he's my brother and his family-'

'What about my family?' She shrilly cuts him off, tugging her hands away. 'She was three. She was only three. She was so beautiful. She was my baby!'

'I'm sorry...I'm so sorry' He haphazardly stumbles to his feet.

'What're you doing?' He's walking away. He doesn't get to walk away. She follows him to standing.

'Calling the cops. I'll tell them everything now. I'll tell them that I lied. That I wasn't with him'

'But then Nathan-'

'Will do his time. Will have to face the decision he made that night'

'You'll be charged too. For perverting the course of justice' She's bewildered because it's his lie that saved his sibling and now he's willing to just hand him in. Just like that.

'And I'll serve my time' He looks at her. 'You've got to believe me, I...I didn't know'

Her heart is beating so fast.

He picks up the phone.

She wonders if he's waiting for her to stop him. She won't. She doesn't expect him to follow through.

She doesn't expect the helplessness and sorrow in her gut when the police arrive some minutes late and escort the two Scott's off the premises.

She doesn't expect Nathan not to refute the claims. She expects him to blurt out that she's a crazy woman that just tried to kill him. He doesn't.

She doesn't hear Haley screaming at her. Doesn't hear the two frightened children sobbing upstairs.

All she can focus on is revenge isn't meant to feel like this. This doesn't feel like justice at all.

•••

It's been nearly three months when she opens the door to her New York apartment and her eyes go wide.

'Hi' He fills the silence.

'...Hi' She eventually murmurs. 'I...you...I didn't expect to see you'

'No' He can see that. His eyes inadvertently trail down her. She's wearing jeans. He's never seen her in denim. Her hair is pulled up messily on top of her head and there's splotches of paint on her arms. 'You're busy' He determines. 'I could come back later if now isn't a good time'

'Now's fine' She steps back and pulls the door open a little further. 'Sorry you just...I didn't...I guess I'm a little shocked. I didn't expect I'd ever see you again'

'I got out last week'

'Right but I thought...well surely I'm the last person you want to see'

'And why do you think that?' He wonders, his stare circling the kitchen she's just led him into. There's children's doodles pinned to the fridge door and he knows in a heartbeat nothing has been altered. Not since that god awful day that she lost her family. A house frozen in time. There are photos on the far wall. Family snaps. Her. Him. Their daughter.

'Oh, I dunno, perhaps because I played a huge role in ruining your life'

He tears his eyes away from her child and looks at her. 'You didn't ruin my life Peyton. Far from it' He disagrees.

She worries her bottom lip. 'Well...I sure didn't make it the best...'

'For a little while you did actually'

She swallows thickly. She doesn't know if that's meant to make her feel better or worse. It makes her feel worse. She'd achieved what she'd set out to do but it didn't feel good. None of it had felt good. '...I've been seeing a therapist, I'm working through some things' She feels the need to tell him, to make sure he knows she's sorry for her behaviour.

'That's...I think that's great...'

'Yeah...it's not always a blast but it does help' She admits. 'I thought I wouldn't be able to stand being here, in this house but it's actually, well I feel close to them here'

He nods. '...You look different'

She smiles and looks down at herself. 'I guess I do huh? But this is me'

'Yeah? You looks good on you'

'I think you preferred the slinky well together girl I led you to believe I was' She tilts her head.

'You think I was looking at your clothes?' He shakes his head. 'Sweetheart my eyes were on your legs, not your clothes'

She blushes and turns abruptly.

'Sorry' He hastily apologies and he watches the back of her head shake.

'No. It's fine. Do you want tea?'

'That'd be nice'

She moves around the kitchen and goes about her task and he returns to looking at the photos displayed on the wall.

'That was her second birthday, her face was covered in icing a few minutes after that'

'She was beautiful Peyton, she's the spit of you'

'Yeah, apart from her eyes those were all Julian'

'You all look so happy'

'We were'

'I'm so sorry'

'You can stop with the sorries Luke'

'I don't think any amount of apologies will ever be enough... I...I can't...I wish I...'

'You did nothing wrong and I..' She shakes her head. 'I was so cruel. I was so focused on revenge, on taking everything from Nathan I didn't...I didn't care about the collateral damage...well I tried to tell myself I didn't...I just...I was so fucking screwed up' Her tears are sudden and he hurries over to her. His arms swaddle her tight. 'I'm so sorry. I h-hate what I d-did. To y-you. To y-your family. To th-those kids'

'Nathan needed to pay for what he did...you might not have gone about it in the best way but I understand' He holds her tight. 'I...' He trails off because in holding her so intimately he's suddenly aware that she feels different...is different. He pulls back, his hands pressing against her oversized sweater to see her ever so slightly swollen belly. He can't say it, doesn't want to cause offence if he's wrong. His eyes slowly trail back to her face.

She hurriedly turns away but his fingers snare her wrist, stopping her retreat. 'Peyton?'

She's silent. She nods once. Her expression nervous. Her nod is a silent confirmation to his unsaid question.

He doesn't say anything.

Shock renders him speechless.

She doesn't say anything. Is scared to verbalise her thoughts because they're a tangled mess.

'How...how far?' He eventually murmurs.

'12 weeks'

'How long have you known?'

She takes a shuddery breath. 'I found out a week after the trial...'

'Were you just...never going to tell me?' He doesn't want to get angry at her but it's hard because this is his right. He deserves a say, deserves to be involved in all of this.

'Of course I would I, I just din't know what to say. How to say... I...I didn't know if...I wasn't exactly pleased' She confesses. 'I didn't tell you because I've, truthfully I've been indecisive about what I want'

He knows what she's implying and he can't focus on that because he's not gotten over the shock that there's a baby. A baby, their baby. His baby.

'I..I thought you were on the pill' He mumbles.

'I was' Her head bobs. 'I never lied to you about that, I swear this, this wasn't...I didn't mean for this'

'You...you want to get an abortion?' He readdresses her mumbled implications of moments ago.

'I...I've thought about it...I mean I, I've hardly been in a great mind set-'

'Which is why you should stop and think about this' He blurts. She startles at his severe tone. 'It's not like you're a couple weeks into this- you're 12 weeks. This is a baby, our baby' He murmurs.

'I'm well aware of what this is thanks' She shoots back.

'I, I can't imagine how difficult this is for you'

'Right. You can't. That's my daughter. That's my husband.' Her hand flails toward the pictures on the wall. 'I'm theirs. I was meant to be theirs forever and I...I, this..' Her hands waver between them. 'This wasn't meant to be anything. It wasn't. And this wasn't meant to happen' Her fingers coast over her belly. 'It feels like I'm replacing them-'

'No, this isn't that' He disagrees. 'You can't replace them. This isn't replacing your little girl' He babbles. 'You having this baby isn't you saying they don't matter' He grabs her hands. 'We can do this'

'We?' Her brow shoots up.

'Yes. We...I know I, I get that you don't love me. That you never...' He swallows. That revelation has been hard for him to stomach. 'But that, that doesn't mean that we, we can't co parent. That we can't be friends'

She's silent for a long minute. 'I didn't...I didn't not care for you' She musters suddenly. 'I...I want you to know that and all your money is back in your account and I, I sent Haley a cheque for her half'

'Yes. She told me...I'm still completely blown away with how you made that happe...'

'Julian's Dad is in banking. I...I learnt a few things'

'About hiding money in secret accounts...you're like a proper little bank robber aren't you?' He tries a smile that isn't returned.

'I had every intention of giving it to charity...I wasn't going to keep it'

'I don't care about the money'

'I know but Haley and the kids needed it'

'Yes...I was grateful to hear you'd given it back' He doesn't tell her that his brother was too.

'I was a little confused when neither of you reported me for that...or any of the shit that went down actually'

'Why? You were governed by grief Peyt...we both know that...'

'That doesn't really justify my behaviour'

'Well it does in my eyes...so the baby?'

'I...' She'd hoped they'd gotten off that topic. 'I'll think about it'

•••

She can't avoid the fact that her belly is growing.

She never really tells him she's going to keep it but by the time she's seven months it's an unsaid given that this is happening.

He hasn't left. He's been her rock. Been at every appointment, been fending after her like a doting partner.

'Riley didn't have a name until she was a month old because we couldn't decide...what're we going to call it?' Time is ticking by. They've gotten into a comfortable routine. A routine that involves him playing house with her. It's much like before only it's not. They're not sharing a bed. This time he's in her house. This time everything is on the table.

'I've been thinking about that'

'Yeah?' She kinks her brow.

'I mean it's totally your call' He puts his hand in the air and she smiles softly and wonders if he thinks she's so awful that she won't let him have a say in his own child's name. 'What do you think about Sawyer?'

'Sawyer' She repeats. 'As in my name?'

'It's not your name though is it Mrs Baker?'

She tilts her head. 'Maybe not anymore but it is my maiden name. It wasn't a complete lie'

'I know that's why I like it...it's a part of you and it, well it works for a boy or a girl...but if it's weird then-'

'I love it'

'Yeah?'

'Uhuh. Sawyer Scott' She tests it out.

'Scott?'

'Well they can't be called Sawyer Sawyer can they?'

'I was thinking it might be Sawyer Baker' He quietly admits.

'That would be weird' Her nose crinkles at the thought.

'Sorry I didn't..I just, that's your name now and-'

'Luke it's alright' She cuts off. 'Honestly... What about their middle name?'

'How...how about' He licks his lips. 'Riley?' He anxiously watches her reaction. Her eyes well. 'I totally get it if you don't want that but I just, I thought it might be nice if their big sister is always with them in some way' She says nothing. 'Fuck. I've said the wrong fucking thing haven't I'

'...No..it's not the wrong thing. The opposite actually' Her voice is small. 'Thank you'

•••

Sawyer Riley Scott arrives.

He's apprehensive at first. The labour was the least dramatic part of their relationship so far, he amusedly thinks as he watches his sleeping newborn.

She'd come quickly and Peyton had been amazing. And he's in Awe. She's a she. He's anxious that she's a she. He'd been hoping for a he. Not because he didn't want to be the father to a baby girl. Nothing of the sort. He'd just thought it might be easier on Peyton. Thought perhaps she wouldn't be reminded of the little girl that's meant to be here but isn't. He'd worried that this was going to be hard on her but his worries dissolved when he'd watched her hold the little crumpled up baby because he'd watched the adoration flood her features. Watched her quite literally fall in love.

There are good days and bad days. Sawyer is at the heart of their good days. Peyton knows things he doesn't. She knows when the milk is the right temperature. Seems to know what's the cause of their child's tears when he doesn't. But he's there. And he learns. And being a parent has opened his eyes. Everything is better with Sawyer in the world. But that soaring feeling only makes his heart ache for the mother of his child because he can't even begin to fathom what loosing Sawyer Riley Scott would be like. It's unbearable just to think it.

It's the anniversary of their death when he gives her the locket with her husband and daughter's faces inside.

She hugs him for what feels life forever and he never wants to let go.

He keeps telling himself they can go on like this. Him living in her house with her things, in the shadow of the life she craves she still had. But he's kidding himself.

Sawyer is soon nearly a year old and he realises this set up has been going on too long. That it's becoming too permanent.

She cries when he says he's thinking of finding his own place.

'What's wrong?'

She's sitting down and he hurries over to her, squatting at her feet, hands entwining with hers.

'I just...you...you want to g-go'

He doesn't want to. She's got that wrong. 'It was always the plan right? This was only meant to be for a little while'

'But...but you...you won't be here'

'That's the general idea' He nods. 'I don't mean I'll go back to Tree Hill, I'm staying in New York'

'But you'll still, you'll have to come visit and you'll take her away from me for a couple of days a week'

He swallows. 'That's usually how it works when parents aren't together'

'But you could be here- there's room for you here'

'I can't'

'Why? You've been doing it just fine the past year and a half' She's reigned in her tears and her tone is accusing. His legs are aching and he rises and takes a seat beside her. 'Have I done something?'

'No, no' He shakes his head and sighs. Honesty hasn't been her forte but he's always taken pride in being honest. He's been a coward for too long though. 'The truth is I can't stay here any longer because I still...feel, I have feelings for you, feelings that I can't keep ignoring and it's just making it really, really ha-'

She lurches on him then. Her mouth covers his and their noses bump together in her haste.

It's their first kiss in a sense and it's different to what he remembers. He melts into her for a moment, meets her nervous clumsy touches. Kisses her back but then an unease builds in his chest and he shuffles back.

'What?' she breathes.

'I...' He scrapes his hand through his hair and looks away from her. 'Fuck'

'What is it?'

'I...jesus...you scare me Peyton!'

'Scare you?'

He braves looking at her, wills himself not to reach out and pull her back to him because he wants her and having her is a whole lot easier than talking but he can't not have this conversation 'I fell in love with you. Only it wasn't you was it? It wasn't real. You had me completely fooled' He explains. 'And then I...I came here and I've fallen in love with you all over again. You've given my Sawyer, you've given me everything. I've fallen in love with this you. The real you but I still...half the time I'm still wondering if you're being real. I know you are with Sawyer. I don't doubt that' He closes his eyes, wincing at his throbbing head. 'I just, it was really hard for me before, loosing you...I don't want to do this unless you're onboard. Onboard as you' He rambles. 'Committed to..us and that, it, it's not fair for me to put that pressure on you, not after everything you've been through but I...I need that'

She's teary as she listens to him. She's seeing firsthand the heartache she inflicted. 'I've been me completely... since the moment you took that gun out of my hand Luke' She scrambles onto her knees and takes his hands. 'I know I've given you so many reasons not to trust me but I swear that's over'

He licks his lips and is quiet for a moment. 'Was..was any of it real? You know, like when, when we...all those times we slept together' He's sweating because this is uncomfortable and awkward but he wants to know. 'Did you fake...'

She shakes her head no, her cheeks tinted pink. 'I never faked that. You...that was an escape and toward the end I was struggling I was, struggling in remembering that I wasn't meant to feel anything at all for you...'

He regards her dubiously. 'That first time...I thought you were so fucking into it and...' He averts his stare to his hands. 'I feel like I took advantage of you-'

'Oh god' She grapples at his arm now. 'No, don't think that. Jesus Luke I...if anything I'm the villain...I was using you, you were the victim'

'...how...how did you...knowing you now, knowing this version of you I just, I don't get how you did that'

'Scotch' She smiles wearily. 'I don't drink scotch...at all' She admits.

His eyes are glassy and her face contorts.

'I use to play that night over and over and now I just, I feel like a complete jackass'

'You don't need to feel like a jackass Luke. I might have been an actual mental head case but it was...that night was still good for me'

His squinting eyes say he doesn't believe her.

'It was weird sure but I...you took me away from the pain and you, you've given me our little girl. She makes everything better. You...you've made everything better...you, you've saved me from the darkness' She licks her lips. 'I don't think the pain of loosing them will ever go away but you make it bearable. You and her, you- you've given me a reason to live...do you think I'm lying?'

'Not lying' He decides. 'But..I, I guess I have a hard time believing that you can ever completely forgive me'

'I've already forgiven you Luke'

He reaches for her then, his hand strokes over her cheek. 'What're you saying Peyt?'

'I'm saying I...I don't want you to leave. Don't leave'

His smile is small. Blue eyes linger on green. Avert to her lips. Lean in. It's the opposite of the clumsy affair of moments ago. 'You're sure?' He whispers.

Her answer is a breathy murmur and then they're kissing.

'Mamamamamama. Dadadadadada' They both laugh bashfully when Sawyer sounds through the baby monitor, signalling nap time is over.

'Raincheck?' Peyton husks.

'Definitely'

•••

'Hi'

'Hi...er Lucas is out back with Karen-'

'I know. I saw them...I was actually hoping I could talk to you'

Peyton swallows. She's been nervous about this trip for many reasons but the main being the girl standing before her. 'Is this a talk where I need to go give Sawyer to her Daddy?'

'No, no' Haley shakes her head as she smiles at the little girl in question. 'She's gorgeous'

'She's alright huh' Peyton nods, concentrating on her daughter as she feeds her another spoonful of mushed carrots.

'I can't believe Luke is a Dad'

'He's a pretty great one' Peyton informs her.

'I don't doubt that'

'No. It's me you're probably doubting'

Haley puts her bag on the table and sinks into a chair. 'No. I don't doubt that you're a wonderful Mother' She quietly corrects the blonde. 'I can see that much'

Peyton looks at her then. 'What do you want Haley?'

'To say I'm sorry'

'That's really not necessary...I think it's me that should be dishing out the apologies'

'I don't think so...I said things. Cruel things. I was mad at you, sure. But, well, I'm a mother and a wife. I understand'

'Nothing condones what I put you and your kids through'

'Maybe not but nothing condones what Nathan did that night either'

Sawyer spits out the last mouthful of her carrots. 'Oh you've had enough of that have you?' Peyton sings, wiping at the gurgling infants mouth. 'What I did was wrong but this isn't a truce situation...I can't forgive him like you won't be able to forgive me for what I tried to do that night, nor for getting Nate put behind bars'

'I'm not asking you to forgive him. He's my husband and I love him but that doesn't mean I'm not struggling with the choices he's made...I just...I wanted you to know...I know we can't socialise. I know you won't ever be able to do that. But I wanted you to know that you don't need to feel guilty about the choices you made...and you're wrong. I know you can't forgive Nathan but I can forgive you...I don't want my kids to grow up not knowing their Uncle or cousin Peyton'

'They don't have to I just can't be a part of it... Luke says there's a chance he might get out at the beginning of the year?'

Haley nods. 'I know that must be hard'

Peyton shrugs. 'I don't know. It's hard considering he's only served a fraction of his sentence...but I'm sure it's good news for you and your kids...I'm not evil Haley'

'I know. You know I wish things could've been different...I think we would've been really great friends'

Peyton bites her lip and nods. 'You can be great friends with this one instead' She lifts Sawyer out of her chair and extends the infant to her aunt. 'Sawyer meet your Aunt Haley'

•••

'Lucas Scott what is this?' Her hand is on the frame and she's looking at him over her shoulder, her expression a mixture of anxiety and adoration at the gesture.

'It was a huge day for you. It's a huge part of your life. You shouldn't hide it away in a box Peyt'

'I'm not hiding it...I just...isn't it weird for you? Having photos of me marrying someone else on your chest of draws?' She enquires. Her stare drifts back to the picture. It's her favourite. It's a black and white shot and she's laughing hard.

He's suddenly behind her. His hands slip around her waist and his chin latches over her shoulder. Her fingers instantly retract from the frame.

'Our chest of draws' He corrects. 'And it's not weird. It's a beautiful photo...You're beautiful'

She lowers her guard. 'I'd just told him I wasn't wearing underwear' She shares. 'He went so red and I couldn't stop laughing' She's suddenly self conscious. 'Sorry. You didn't need to know that'

'You don't have to hide him from me' He murmurs. 'You loved him baby. I know that. Us find our own place and making a new start, that didn't mean hiding them away'

'I know' She does. Riley is everywhere but Julian... 'I just...I..I don't want you to feel like you're number two' She turns in his hold and looks up at him.

'I am number two' He smirks.

'Yes but...I, I don't love you less' Her brow is furrowed in thought. 'I want you to know that. I...I didn't think I'd ever feel, or be able to feel what I felt for Julian again. I really didn't but I... if he walked through that door right now Luke I, I'd be fucking screwed because I-I love you both'

'You're allowed to love us both' He smiles, his hand brushing over her cheek. 'Baby I will forever look up to this guy. He made you happy and you know what, I, I feel like that when he had to leave this world he led you to me. I know you won't believe anything so sappy but that's what I think'

'I love that you think that' She looks up at him through her lashes. 'But if he were here right now he'd tell you to get your fucking hands off my ass'

'Mm he can have dibs on your ass if I get your legs' His hands sweep lower to rest on her thighs.

'This is getting weird'

'Yeah. I thought so too. Maybe we shouldn't talk about the other guy when I'm about to fuck you'

Her eyebrows shoot up. 'You are?'

'Oh yeah, you look hot in this'

'Nothing to do with the fact I just told you I love you as much as Julian'

'Oh a whole lot to do with that too...' He starts walking them backwards toward the bed, turning her around when his legs hit the mattress. 'Peyt?'

'Mm?'

'How would you feel about maybe putting another framed photo to stand along side you and your first choice' He's suddenly nervous.

'Mm, how about you, me and Sawyer?'

'Uhuh...the one where she's wearing a little cream dress and flowers in her hair'

'I don't know what one you're talking about'

'Because it's not happened yet' She knows what he's saying then. 'You don't have to say yes...I get it if you...you're not ready, if you'll never be ready..'

'I'd like that'

His blue eyes sparkle, a wide grin touching his lips. 'Yeah?'

'Uhuh' Her hands latch around his neck. 'Do I have to wear white?' She wonders.

'You can wear whatever the hell you like'

'I'd feel weird wearing white'

'No white'

They marry in late Spring. Sawyer in nearly four. It's intimate. Not many people are there. All the important people are.

She's taken the bands that had been on her finger off. They're not gone. Just moved. Hanging around her neck, always with her.

He tells her he loves her. She tells him she loves him to. She tells him she's sorry she sought out revenge on him five years ago. He says he's thankful. She says her revenge was meant to be her undoing, her final act but it had been the beginning. The beginning of the end. The end of the darkness that had encompassed her life because Lucas Scott had given her a reason to live again. She'd sought him out to tear them apart but he'd fixed her...Revenge really had never tasted so sweet...in Revenge she'd found how to live and love again.

Fin.


End file.
